EGO TO GO

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Published: 30th November 2011
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EGO TO GO
An old, feeble-minded man was in tears and his mood was distraught. He was not dealt nicely by a politician as his behavior was very rude. He lamented and said,’ One day, God will shed away his ego…He made us cry and tomorrow he’ll cry.’ And, he disappeared.
There is another household story. A sister-in-law had a tiff with her bhabi. Their furore aggravated so much that they stopped talking to each other. Unless, one day sister-in-law took the initiative and confessed her mistakes in a letter and posted to her. On reading the letter, ‘bhabi’ got so emotional that they hugged each other and till date lived so happily. The reason of this reunion was shedding of ‘ego’.
‘Socializing’ is the man’s basic instinct. And, this is possible only when we amicably ‘connect’ with another person. And, if we restrict our self, may be due to our attitude, social instinct takes a back seat.
A doctor, lawyer, judge or a businessman if restricts themselves with fake ego and distances themselves from other beings, the development of the society will suffer. These are professions with public dealing and if they distance themselves from public, and egoism sets in, that is the biggest hindrance for both, especially for a layman.
Often, we comment about someone as,” Oh my God! He has so much attitude’. He doesn’t talk to anybody. That is, he’s so occupied with false pride and keeps himself or herself in high esteem. He considers himself above others in every respect. And, is fully gripped by ‘superiority complex’. The complex may have no base but, they feel contended with their self-pride. As a result, close ones have to endure the consequences. In the sense, if something goes wrong, family tries to explain the things, the arrogant fellow gets frustrated and annoyed.
Self-respect and egoism have a very thin line difference. Self-respect means while keeping one’s respect, talking about things and not flaunting one’s talent and being in one’s limitations. In other words, being modest. The basic difference is that in the former, one keeps things to oneself and doesn’t make any kind of show-off. Whereas, the latter, is an extended version of self-respect and sometimes becomes negative. Ego is basically proud and self-respect is dignity.
Quite unfortunate but from centuries, a female becomes and is continuously becoming a victim of male-dominance. The set up of the society is such that till day, males are kept at high pedestal and given the credit for just being ‘males’. Majority of the females are suffering from this male-egoism.
The people who suffer from this disease are weak minded people. They are the ones who don’t have a very strong mind set up but are driven by the flatterers or the ‘champchas’. The think of themselves as supreme beings and think whatever they do is right. They keep themselves distanced from others. And, if they are among people, they will talk with an arrogance portraying as all knowing. Another category is of people who have underlying complexes or fears within themselves. They are not confident about certain things. But, portray as the most confident one by throwing some attitude.
There is one more kind of ego which Sigmund Freud talks about. They are Id, Ego and super-ego. According to Freud, we are born with our ID, is an important part of our personality because as newborns, it allows us to get our basic needs met. When a child is hungry, the id wants food, and therefore the child cries. Within the next three years, as the child interacts more and more with the world, the second part of the personality begins to develop and is called Ego. The ego understands that other people have needs and desires and that sometimes being impulsive or selfish can hurt us in the long run. At the age of five, or the end of the phallic stage of development, the Superego develop. In a healthy person, Freud has kept the ego as the strongest so that it can satisfy the needs of the id, not upset the superego, and still take into consideration the reality of every situation.
Basically, a person without any kind of ego is also not right. As every one needs to have a certain amount of ego otherwise people will consider you as dumb and will take extra advantage of you.
Then, there are others who have an attitude just like that. They share a smile with others as if it costs them money. There are people who don’t involve much with others as they are shy. But, many don’t socialize because of their ‘proudy’ nature.
Some people have lot of money, status, reputation, land, beauty, height and many more things. And, they start having an attitude. Though, this is no criteria for being proudy. Every person tries to excel in his or her field and tries to manage things as far as he can. So, there is no need to have any attitude.
A small fight takes place between a husband-wife, friends, relatives or anybody. And, the first thing one does is, stop talking to other person and waits that the other person should take the initiative to speak. This is a small instance that shows, ‘we have ego’. Not only this, when a small child gets the feeling of possessiveness, then, sometimes some children do develop the feelings of ego. As he starts claiming everything as ‘This is mine’.
Guru Nanak Devji once said,
Hauman deergh rog hai,
Daroo bhee iss mahe.
This means, False Ego is a disease. Even our Guru’s have called it as the biggest rog or a disease. As it uproots a person and make him handicap as he loses his ability to judge between right and wrong. He gets blinded in a way.
Baseless superiority ruins the houses. The high-headed people refuse to listen to anyone. In the end, they have to suffer because they get deprived of real advice.
To remain grounded and open to criticism is a must, if one wishes to rise in life.If they'll be down to earth, they will be more open in their thoughts. The medicine of Ego is satyam that is, discovery of satya or truth.
If a person knows the reality around him, he’ll never get egoistic. Discovery of truth is the foremost. The problem is when a proudy person’s ego gets shattered, he’s completely ruined. Service of humanity is the message of our Gurus. And, this foul disease creates a hindrance among people.
Hence, to try to maintain respect, keeping extreme or fake ego at a distance is the mantra for a healthy living.
HARLEEN PANDHER





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